Why do so many people not uphold their resolutions? For numerous reasons. For one, resolutions tend to be very vague. For example, "I want to be a better person." Without direction, it can be difficult to know if the resolution has been accomplished or not. Also, some people make unrealistic goals for themselves. For example, "I want a six pack this summer." If you are 10-20 pounds overweight, that may be realistic. However, if you are over 50 pounds overweight, it may be extremely difficult to meet that goal.
When we make a resolution, we develop a fantasy for what we want our life to be like. John Demartini talks about that fantasy and how easy it is to become addicted to that fantasy in his blog, "What Drives a Person to Suicide?" We want our lives to be like the fantasy world we picture in our brains. When our reality doesn't match our fantasy, depressed mood can develop and suicidal thoughts can occur. We can become constantly reminded of how much our lives suck compared to the lives we want.
So what can be done? For one, make realistic expectations this New Year's Eve. If you are shy, do not expect to become the most popular person at school or work. If you have been diagnosed with depression, do not expect the depression to be gone by the end of the year. However, realistic goals can be made. You can tell yourself, "I want to be friends with two new people this year" or "I want to be happy about one thing each week." Then make steps towards that goal. Say hi to the new person at work, or start a weekly gratitude list. Then, and most importantly, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF. Every step of the way deserves recognition, and will reinforce the positive behavior. Before you know it, you'll have improved yourself this upcoming year and make even more improvements the year after that.
For John Demartini's "What Drives a Person to Suicide?" click here.
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