Devil's Snare

I'm one of those people who learns better when I can relate what I learn to something I see or experience. Recently, I learned something valuable about acceptance, and the best way I could relate to it is through the adventures of who I believe to be the best fictional character of all time: Harry Potter.

In Harry's first adventure, he and his friends find themselves trapped in Devil's Snare. This plant responds to movement and binds tighter around its victims the more they move. In order to survive their ordeal with this plant, Harry and friends had to stop struggling against the plant and accept their fate.

I find this lesson applicable to real life. We as a society tend to want to fix things. If anything uncomfortable happens, we want it to go away. Some people self-medicate with alcohol to numb the pain, some couples get divorced to avoid the dysfunction of their relationships, and some people kill themselves because they don't want to feel the way they do.

I remember being in a lot of pain. Pain that I wanted no one to feel, especially not myself. So I hid it. I hid it for years until someone brought it out of me. Once I accepted the pain, it was terrifying. I felt so alone, so vulnerable, so weak. I felt like Harry in the Devil's Snare. However, it became easier for Harry to accept his fate once Hermione accepted hers and made it safely through the Devil's Snare. I eventually made it through my pain thanks to the care of someone else as well. And now I spend my life trying to help others through their pain.

I urge the rest of you to do as Harry did. Don't run from the pain. Accept it. Feel the hurt come through you. Visualize it, personify it, put a name to it. Just don't judge it. Then let it leave when it is ready to, knowing it will always leave eventually. If you know someone going through pain, help them do the same. Help them accept the pain, even if it takes you riding the wave with them. It will be uncomfortable, sure. But it will be worth it.

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For the Harry Potter scene I'm talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGtUBchpS4k

Deciding Who You Are

I recently got married, and, as I was reflecting on the weeks leading up to the wedding, I noticed something interesting. At a certain point, my wife and I got labeled as "the couple getting married." The only things people seemed to talk to us about were how close the wedding was getting or how excited we were. It reminded me of other labels people have on them.

Labels seem to dictate how we behave or act. As we got question after question about the wedding, it was almost as if people were expecting the typical answers of, "We're very excited" or, "I'm getting a little nervous, but it's a good nervous." For those who are diagnosed with a mental illness or who are feeling suicidal, that label applies as well. The typical sad looks and questions of "How are you feeling today?" become so frequent, that mental illness goes from something someone has to something someone is.

The exact opposite is true. Mental illness doesn't own you, it is only a part of you. I am not anxious, I have anxiety sometimes. I also get happy, excited, and calm. People with suicidal thoughts have them for a certain time. They also feel other emotions. Those other emotions, and other unique qualities, need to be celebrated.

I just got married and I have anxiety. I'm also a student, an actor, a mental health worker, and I care immensely for others. We are all unique and special. We deserve acknowledgement of those unique qualities. If you are feeling suicidal, there is help out there. Call the Crisis Hotline, talk to a family member, get heard. Then spend some time with your uniqueness. Find what makes you special, and enjoy yourself. All of yourself. Remember, we get to make our own choices. We get to decide who we are.

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