Deciding Who You Are

I recently got married, and, as I was reflecting on the weeks leading up to the wedding, I noticed something interesting. At a certain point, my wife and I got labeled as "the couple getting married." The only things people seemed to talk to us about were how close the wedding was getting or how excited we were. It reminded me of other labels people have on them.

Labels seem to dictate how we behave or act. As we got question after question about the wedding, it was almost as if people were expecting the typical answers of, "We're very excited" or, "I'm getting a little nervous, but it's a good nervous." For those who are diagnosed with a mental illness or who are feeling suicidal, that label applies as well. The typical sad looks and questions of "How are you feeling today?" become so frequent, that mental illness goes from something someone has to something someone is.

The exact opposite is true. Mental illness doesn't own you, it is only a part of you. I am not anxious, I have anxiety sometimes. I also get happy, excited, and calm. People with suicidal thoughts have them for a certain time. They also feel other emotions. Those other emotions, and other unique qualities, need to be celebrated.

I just got married and I have anxiety. I'm also a student, an actor, a mental health worker, and I care immensely for others. We are all unique and special. We deserve acknowledgement of those unique qualities. If you are feeling suicidal, there is help out there. Call the Crisis Hotline, talk to a family member, get heard. Then spend some time with your uniqueness. Find what makes you special, and enjoy yourself. All of yourself. Remember, we get to make our own choices. We get to decide who we are.

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